Ok I know that an update has been long overdue, so to those who read this without malice, I do apologize. To those who read this and take shots from afar, GFY.
Some anger issues yesterday, thank you Tanya for trying to help, unfortunately some bartender slipped ID-10-T enzymes into my green beer which caused the meltdown. I knew beer was bad for me but that really pushed things to a level I hadn't seen since my 21st birthday.
So the beer and a few conversations all combined to a poorly timed downward spiral of depression which all resulted in my Facebook rampage of anger. I'll try to sum up everything other than the beer which put me in that frame of mind. 1. a blast from the past contacted me recently, 2. contact with my most recent ex-gf. Now both of those shouldn't be any reason for me going off like a drunken.........idiot..... wait a tic.... Ok apology time is over, so now we can move on to determining why talking to both of those women would cause "Rob's Rampage of Mobile FB/Texting on St Patty's Day."
The first woman is someone I still care deeply about, for me there is still some reservation as to where she fits into my life. Do I consider her an ex? not really but I should. Am I holding a place open for her to come back in? yes but I probably shouldn't, she's with someone else and they seem happy. Why am I holding on to the very faint chance she wants to be with me? no clue, maybe since things never worked out longer than 2 weeks I feel some need to make a serious run at a long term relationship with her. However I really think that there has been a long term relationship, it's just a series of really little flings all jammed together with a bunch of times where either one of us weren't talking to the other person for whatever reason made sense at the time. I know that doesn't seem to make sense but if you read it again really, really slowly and then take a second it might.
Sooooo she's not moving back to Peterborough at this point, or as near as I can tell. She's involved with a man and they're living in Ottawa, he's very supportive to her and is helping her with stuff quite well.
On to #2, this is a woman that I was involved with over 2 years, living together (really I moved into her home, is there a difference? kinda but that's not the issue from last night). Since my last conversation with her was around Christmas time, neither one of us had made any attempt at contact. Not sure of her reasons but I needed to get a little distance so I wouldn't get into a rebound routine. Why did I initiate contact at this point now? Since the past weekend brought up a few issues for me, I thought talking to her might be constructive for me, you know to get a few things sorted out, also to get caught up again since it had been a long time. Ok back to last night, drunkboy (me) called her before heading downtown, because I had exchanged a few emails with her and I invited her out for a beverage, got turned down due her busy schedule, something that had never happened before. Naturally when we get turned down we want something a little more right? I called her from the bar, couldn't hear a thing and went outside and started talking about stuff. As I was talking I somehow started walking towards her house... she kind of ends the call, and I'm outside of her house... so I go knock on the door, go in give her a cold hug (cold because it was cold outside), use her washroom to go pee, look for the cat..... "where's Leo?" I get told that she's put him down in the best way possible "ohhh, I murdered him" that's her being funny about putting him down. He was very, very old and had a few serious health issues, so it was inevitable. However what wasn't acceptable to me was that she never told me about it, and then she told me that the week after taking him for his needle in the paw, she went to Cuba..... Should that make me upset? Why should I care about her cat and what she does with him as he ages? Well the ID-10-T enzyme kicked into overdrive and I had to leave, all teared up like some teenage girl reading Twilight. During my teary shamble home I called her and get her machine, left a barely comprehensible message telling of my displeasure about Leo and how that was handled.... not expecting a call back or even an email. Way to go Rob.
Today... thankfully school, then work afterwards. Big test tomorrow, so I'll be studying like a demon tonight and tomorrow morning. Probably should have stayed in last night and worked on that...... would have avoided the green beer and the drunken rampage described above... another lesson learned right? :p
Some anger issues yesterday, thank you Tanya for trying to help, unfortunately some bartender slipped ID-10-T enzymes into my green beer which caused the meltdown. I knew beer was bad for me but that really pushed things to a level I hadn't seen since my 21st birthday.
So the beer and a few conversations all combined to a poorly timed downward spiral of depression which all resulted in my Facebook rampage of anger. I'll try to sum up everything other than the beer which put me in that frame of mind. 1. a blast from the past contacted me recently, 2. contact with my most recent ex-gf. Now both of those shouldn't be any reason for me going off like a drunken.........idiot..... wait a tic.... Ok apology time is over, so now we can move on to determining why talking to both of those women would cause "Rob's Rampage of Mobile FB/Texting on St Patty's Day."
The first woman is someone I still care deeply about, for me there is still some reservation as to where she fits into my life. Do I consider her an ex? not really but I should. Am I holding a place open for her to come back in? yes but I probably shouldn't, she's with someone else and they seem happy. Why am I holding on to the very faint chance she wants to be with me? no clue, maybe since things never worked out longer than 2 weeks I feel some need to make a serious run at a long term relationship with her. However I really think that there has been a long term relationship, it's just a series of really little flings all jammed together with a bunch of times where either one of us weren't talking to the other person for whatever reason made sense at the time. I know that doesn't seem to make sense but if you read it again really, really slowly and then take a second it might.
Sooooo she's not moving back to Peterborough at this point, or as near as I can tell. She's involved with a man and they're living in Ottawa, he's very supportive to her and is helping her with stuff quite well.
On to #2, this is a woman that I was involved with over 2 years, living together (really I moved into her home, is there a difference? kinda but that's not the issue from last night). Since my last conversation with her was around Christmas time, neither one of us had made any attempt at contact. Not sure of her reasons but I needed to get a little distance so I wouldn't get into a rebound routine. Why did I initiate contact at this point now? Since the past weekend brought up a few issues for me, I thought talking to her might be constructive for me, you know to get a few things sorted out, also to get caught up again since it had been a long time. Ok back to last night, drunkboy (me) called her before heading downtown, because I had exchanged a few emails with her and I invited her out for a beverage, got turned down due her busy schedule, something that had never happened before. Naturally when we get turned down we want something a little more right? I called her from the bar, couldn't hear a thing and went outside and started talking about stuff. As I was talking I somehow started walking towards her house... she kind of ends the call, and I'm outside of her house... so I go knock on the door, go in give her a cold hug (cold because it was cold outside), use her washroom to go pee, look for the cat..... "where's Leo?" I get told that she's put him down in the best way possible "ohhh, I murdered him" that's her being funny about putting him down. He was very, very old and had a few serious health issues, so it was inevitable. However what wasn't acceptable to me was that she never told me about it, and then she told me that the week after taking him for his needle in the paw, she went to Cuba..... Should that make me upset? Why should I care about her cat and what she does with him as he ages? Well the ID-10-T enzyme kicked into overdrive and I had to leave, all teared up like some teenage girl reading Twilight. During my teary shamble home I called her and get her machine, left a barely comprehensible message telling of my displeasure about Leo and how that was handled.... not expecting a call back or even an email. Way to go Rob.
Today... thankfully school, then work afterwards. Big test tomorrow, so I'll be studying like a demon tonight and tomorrow morning. Probably should have stayed in last night and worked on that...... would have avoided the green beer and the drunken rampage described above... another lesson learned right? :p
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